Archive for Something About Relationships

Blind Dating

I was watching the 2nd half of “Dating in the Dark” the other night and was mildly entertained. The premise of the show (from what I gathered) was that they allowed couples to go on “dates” in a pitch black room. They got to know each other and some even made out.

Later on, they would reveal how their chosen person looked and they had to decide whether or not they want to meet them at a specific spot or leave the mansion.

This seemed like some sort of social experiment (which I find highly amusing) where it shows what is more important when people are looking for a mate: personality compatibility or looks/initial physical attraction.

I think the tv execs rig the show so that out of the 3 men and 3 women, 1 in each group is above average, average or below average looking. It worked out that the men and women who were compatible on paper ended up finding each other when they met each other after spending time with the other potential people.

Both the average looking people showed up at the meeting spot. Next the below average guy showed up to the meeting place and watched the above average lady dragging her suitcase out the front door. Lastly, the above average guy and below average woman both showed up at the meeting.

I know this is totally trashy reality tv, but gawd I love it.
Scarf Girl, signing off.

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Plug for Asian Dating

Once in a while, I write a plug for a friend’s ventures in the business world. Like my friend who sells tasty loose-leaf tea (Teality), or a friend who was selling body jewelry or t-shirts.

So, here is yet another plug for a friend, this time for www.AsianDating.org. Yes, it is a dating website to help Asians find love in this world. The best part is that it’s FREE! Who doesn’t love free stuff? There is no catch to it. The site makes money when folks click on an ad, that’s how they can keep it free.

I used to think that online dating was weird since the stigma in the past for personal ads was so negative, but now I’ve seen many successes and know people who are happily dating/engaged/married. Anyways, sign up and you could find that special someone!

Scarf Girl, plugging away.

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Owing Information

I’ve often heard of people wanting to tell a former bf or gf personally that they have either moved on to someone new or are getting married. At what point are you obligated to do this? After only 1 relationship? Are you obligated at all?

I suppose when it comes ending a relationship, there are different steps that you have to take:

1) You break up or get broken up with.
2) You start seeing someone new / Your ex start seeing someone new.
3) You tell each other that you’re dating someone new.
4) You get kinda sad about your ex moving on and your ex gets sad about you moving on.
5) You live another day and realize that life goes on, whether you choose to participate in it, is up to you.

While it seems like a courtesy to tell your ex, in a way, it feels like bragging to me. Somehow, depending on your level of pettiness, it’s like this unspoken contest to see who can find someone new first. You tell the other person that you’ve found someone, and while you’re all happy, they get sad. Now, does it seem like a good thing to tell your ex you’ve moved on?

Scarf Girl, signing off.

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Wearing Red Day

Do a lot of people celebrate Valentine’s day? Why do people make a big deal about it? Is it because everybody else does? Is it because retailers place red and pink hearts in their window displays in an effort to create this romantic notion in your head that people want their SOs to live up to? Or if you’re single, then it makes you want to have someone special so that they can live up to that notion?

I wonder whether or not Valentine’s day is merely the “Hallmark Holiday” as many people refer to it as. Why do people say that anyways? Is it because they truly believe that chocolate and flower retailers all over the world had a secret meeting to plot and create this romantic day for couples and apply pressure on them to buy their super-marked up products? (flowers are usually at least double the price on that day)

I have heard the story about how the day came about, but some people I’ve talked to don’t believe in it. So where does v-day come from? Either way, v-day is out there and many people celebrate and some people don’t. On a side note, during my trip to work, I saw about 20 people wearing red or pink shirts. hehe.

Scarf Girl, signing off.

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Significant Friends

One of my friends is in a relatively new relationship and I recently met her SO. He seemed like a pretty nice guy and genuinely wanted to get to know the rest of us, since she seems to talk about us a lot.

I made the comment to her that he must really like her a whole lot since he seemed to make an extra effort to engage himself into the conversation and asked questions about us all.

Then I was wondering if he’s just trying to gain the approval of the friends or if he’s just a nice guy. Afterall, friends often have opinions about SOs and if the opinions are bad, the relationship most likely seems doomed to fail. Then another question is, how significant are our friends’ opinions of our SOs?

Scarf Girl, signing off.

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Baby Ages

I recently noticed that when inquiring about the age of babies, people use a fairly small denomination. First it starts in days when the baby is less than a month old (15 days… 20 days…). After one month, they use weeks (6 weeks, 8 weeks). Then they use months some time after after it gets too complicated to mentally figure out how many months a baby is solely by using weeks (17 weeks? How many months is that?). Then they’ll use months until about a year and a half to two years old. Then of course, they start using the years.So I was thinking about it, and realized that the method in which people use to describe the age of a baby is similar to how people use it to describe the lenth of time they’ve been in a relationship. Yeah, random, but if you think about it, it’s kinda true.

Scarf Girl, signing off.

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Hitting on the Taken Revisited

So a long while back, I asked the question, is it okay to hit on someone else’s signifcant other. I received a few opinions on that topic, but only from men. A female friend of mine recently read that old entry and offered her opinion on that matter.She said something to the effect of it can be flattering for the girl who is being hit on. She said that it is up to the girl to decide what she wants to do. Most likely, a girl in a relationship that is happy will kinda let the guy down, but a girl who is in a rocky one may realize that she is in a relationship that doesn’t work and will get out of it.

Of course, there are always conditions which would make it inappropriate for a guy to confess his undying love, like, if she was standing at the altar about to be married.

Side note: I’ve noticed at the weddings that I’ve been to lately that they longer say, “If anyone here objects to this union, let him speak now or forever hold his peace.”

Scarf Girl, signing off.

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Making Friends

My friends have often told me that they find it difficult to “meet people” when you’re working. I thought about it and I realized that most of the people in my life that I consider a friend, I met them while in school. Of course, I have made some casual friends since then, but I don’t believe that I’ve formed very many close bonds with anyone that I have met post-college.

Why is that? Are we so set in our lives with our close-knit groups that we can’t allow ourselves to make new close friends? Do we have so many friends that we don’t need anymore? Are we just not encountering enough new people?

I’ve often wondered what it would be like to start over in a new place where I didn’t know a single person. Would I be able to make new friends? The workplace isn’t always the best place to make friends, as most likely, your co-workers like to keep their work life and personal life separate.

I suppose that there are cool people everywhere, and that once we find them, in time, a friendship can grow.

Scarfgirl, signing off.

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Co-habitation

I’ve always thought that co-habitation with your significant other is a good way of getting to know the other person’s quirks… really really fast. So you’re chugging along your relationship and everything is going smoothly, then you decide to live together. Things are going well for a while but suddenly you feel a bit crowded. What do you do?

So I have some friends who recently have been un-co-habiting themselves from their SOs. That kinda got my scared for them because often times, the next step is to break up. After all, if you’re living blissfully together, why get your own place? Wouldn’t you want to spend every hour of the day together?

I’m crossing my fingers for them. One couple I’m pretty sure is very solid and that the fact that my friend has always wanted her own place kinda makes it seem “legitimate.” My other friend, I’m not sure the details of them, but I suspect that they’re suffocating a bit and need some space to think things over. For some reason, you just can’t separate yourself and look at things from a different perspective while your SO is in the next room.

Scarf Girl, crossing her fingers.

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Telling Your Ex

Something I’ve always wondered was how much “courtesy” you may or may not “owe” to your ex. What I mean is that once you break up you are once again your own person and you don’t have to “answer” to anybody right?

So what happens when you both move on and start seeing someone new? Are you obligated at all to tell your ex? Afterall, you guys have broken up so why would you really “care?”

I’m sure this is a pretty touchy issue, because some people wouldn’t care to know and might actually be offended if you do tell them, since it seems like you’re bragging. Others though, would be hurt if you didn’t mention anything and they heard it through the grapevine. I’ll put some more thought into this.

Scarf Girl, signing off.

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